love · Uncategorized

Transparent Deux

It’s been almost 2 years since you came back in and reclaimed my heart. Still, there are nights like tonight when I lay in bed reminding myself that this isn’t a dream, that I deserve you (and vice versa) and that love is supposed to feel this good. It’s amazing the amount of damage our hearts have withstood. It scars you almost to the point of no return. It takes trust and makes it non applicable in situations where trust should come naturally. It makes it hard to get back up, dust yourself off and try again.
But that’s what’s so different about this love, our love. You didn’t stand by and watch me try to pick myself up and dust myself off before deciding to love me. You helped me. You didn’t do it all for me, but you were there the entire time. When there was some dust left on my back that I couldn’t quite reach, you were there to wipe it off for me. If I backtracked a few steps, you were there beckoning me forward to a beautiful place. When I cried, you held me and wiped my tears. You taught me that crying is not a weakness it’s a necessity. And in all the time that I’ve been healing, you taught me that I don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

You showed me that the flaws others couldn’t deal with are a part of what makes me deserving of love. Loving again has been one of the most challenging  tasks I’ve had to tackle. If I am honest, it’s still hard some days. I have to check myself and remind myself of who I am, what I deserve and who you are for me.

You are mine. You are my teacher. You are my classmate. You are my best friend. You are my hug on a bad day, my forehead kiss goodnight, the sparkle in my eye and the flutter in my heart. You are my love…the love I knew would be mine someday. I’m just glad that day didn’t take too long to come around.

My heart is so very thankful for you. I love you LB. ❤

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